Ridiculously perfect Indonesian waves

The title says it all. Looking at these photos whilst laid up on the couch with sniffles and general feelings of malaise makes me want to be in Indonesia right now.


These smoking shots are stolen from surfingthemag.com

10 excuses for not updating your blog

Dear Sir/Madam,

Please find following a series of lame excuses for why this digital scratch pad has been a barren wasteland of content recently:

1. The surf has been good
2. I have been surfing a lot ;)
3. I have started a new exercise regime to try and balance my creaky body and improve myself thanks to Levity Health
   (spot of link love)
4. I have been an inhabitant of the procrastination nation
5. I have half started writing things but then destroyed my ideas with a salvo of excoriating self doubt and moody lazyness
6. I'm sometimes flighty and prone to sporadic fickle attention spans
7. I've been trying to help my beautiful beyonce plan our wedding
8. I've been creating crap lists but not publishing them
9. I've been planning a last minute trip to Hawaii courtesy of my good friend Kev (AKA the gooch) - (more on this topic to come I imagine).
10. All of the above

Yours Sincerely the owner of this Blog

This Blog is not abandoned

It just looks that way.

A beginners guide to dub step

I've been sifting through my analytics data and the most popular piece of content I have written was about dub music . I thought I would continue in a similar vein and provide an intro into the world of dubstep.

Dubstep is a dark brooding, minimal (at times), bass heavy experimental musical genre that Originated in the UK underground but is spreading across the gobe. As a musical style it tips its hat to traditional dub reggae, drum n bass/jungle, weird clattery sparse electronica, UK garage, grime and even elements of breaks and Techno.

A good jumping off point to explore this genre is Mary Anne Hobbs bbc radio one show which can be a challenging listen at times but also delivers serious gold (best listened to via IE as it seems to have issues with Firefox when listening outside the UK). Mary Anne has been seriously championing this sound since 2006 and is helping push it to the world. I have a copy of the Warrior Dubz compilation she produced a few years back. There are a a couple of cracking tunes that in my mind help define this genre with my favourites being The Digital Mystikz tune Anti-War dub, , Bengas tune Music Box, Burials tune Versus and a number of other gems. Probably my favourite tune from this genre is Burials tune "Unite" which is on his myspace page, I personally think its amazing.

The thing I like about some dubstep is the sparse moody sound, the beats and the blatant disregard for and commercial sensibilities. The downside of this adventurous production approach is at times the bass lines can be harsh, paranoid, heavy as F**K and almost un-listenable and it can all be a bit too much.

If you like your tunes on the more bass heavy side of things the dub step underworld is well worth an explore and if you have an internet connection it is all so easy. Other pages to check for a listen include:

• Kulture - I heard a wicked track of theirs/his "Vitamin D" on Mary Anne Hobbs show.
  
• Skream - A huge name in the scene
  
• NZ Dubstep - This style has taken hold in NZ, Kiwis dig bass heavy styles

Well enjoy the dub step for dummies guide I'm going surfing

New Improved Blogger Page Title Hacks

After discovering to my horror that the page titles on this blog had reverted to the dreaded "blog title: post title" format which is the bane of semantic indexing and plays havoc with click through rates in search engines. Thus I was forced to edit the code of this blog again.

I decided to see if anyone had produced any updated code that would create decent titles while still allowing me to manipulate the page elements without breaking the page (which was a previous massive failure of the code I linked to in my previous page title post). Anyway I stumbled upon this awesome piece of code hackery that will easily let you to swap xml blogger page title's (thanks Archit !). This is a great piece of code and is super simple to install. I swear that if the world becomes the internet then brilliant indian devs/programmers like Achit (& Kunaal) will build it.

Yes I am a wannabe Geek!

Software used to bust sly sickies

I noticed this article in the Sydney Morning Herald about voice analysis software that can identify if you are lying when chucking a sickie. Apparently the software has been rolled out by an organisation in the UK which has saved them squillions. I'm no fan of people taking heaps of sick days to take the piss - in fact I personally haven't taken a suspect sickie in years but this reeks of big brother and is a little terrifying. On the upside maybe this opens the door for voice modulation products to use when calling up to throw a sickie to lay on the couch so you can finish the final stages of GTA IV.

www.disguisemysickdaylies.com is available for any budding entrepreneurs....

Give Six Ounce Surfboards your money

I caught up with Ben at Six Ounce Surfboards on Saturday and was reminded of why he is such a dead set legend. Ben was kind enough to play the role of "ding whisperer*" for me and sort out some minor cracks and tail damage to three of my boards that I have purchased from him over the past 3 or 4 years. I have basically been delaying this life admin task due to slackness and a consistent run of surf over the past couple of months.

Anyway Ben worked his ding whispering magic and hey presto the majority of my quiver was back in top form, Benny also would only except payment in Beer (coopers pale) and minor cash which I think is amazing for someone trying to pay the rent and feed his Hugs N Kisses and two kids. So in return I thought I would do the charitable thing and tell the 4 whole visitors I get to this blog each day what an exceptional human being Ben is and that if you are planning on buying a minimal surboard bondi or a longboard bondi then go see Ben and give him some money (not beer as Barnaby is too young to drink).

Oh and don't for a minute think from the link text that I ride any retro hemp smelling craft, I am a short board fascist kind of guy although my daily ride is a little fatter to deal with the lurch burgers that the Eastern suburbs frequently dishes out. The anchor text selection is purely based on my thoughts of what kind of things prospective customers might be throwing into Google when trying to hunt down a reputable surf shop in Bondi.

Anyway the swell should be building over night due to a nice Tasman low pressure system. Check the explosion in the WAM below courtesy of Coastalwatch




*A ding whisperer is a human who is like a horse whisperer of Surfboards that have magnificent powers to magically restore boards back to a sleek non busted up state. Favour should be curried with these talented wizards of resin by any keen surfer with poor ding repair skills (like me).

Trying to get Base Pizza to rank

As the title says I'm trying to get my favourite outsourced dinner provider Base Pizza to rank as it annoys me when I try and find them in Google and they are nowhere to be seen. I figure a link may assist as their site is shocking from a search perspective committing a number of basic crimes against semantic markup (or lack thereof). Anyway hopefully this link will make it easier to find and order one of their excellent Spanish seafood pizzas ;)

Major Calling - I'm listening

I came across this spot of random today at www.majorcalling.com/ it appeals to my sense of humour and appreciation of the random.

Drunk Vader suprise Jedi attack

Something about this news article makes me piss myself laughing.

It might be the randomness of an alcoholic wearing a bin bag brandishing a crutch, ineffectually attacking the founding members of the Holyhead (wales) branch of the Jedi Church who were filming a light sabre battle that reeks of the absurd.

Hollywood can't script stuff this far off the randometer.

*And no I don't advocate violence - especially not from the welsh boozy sith against Jedi knights/students

Cervinia Snow Envy

As I mentioned in my last erratic post my Beyonce went on holidays to Europe courtesy of her extremely generous bestie Caria-Canaria. They visited a ski resort in Northern Italy on the border with Switzerland called Breuil Cervinia and it would be accurate to say that they got amazing snow.


View Larger Map
Check the terrain and satellite options in the g-map above to get an idea of altitude and set up

I'm so green with envy that I almost look like Fredo the frog, although I was slightly consoled with a stash of booty including Top Man t-shirts (No I don't try and dress like an electro, emo, wannabe beatles member at a rave), Qantas PJs from Business class and some Man-fume (the copy is hilarious for this - talk about selling lifestyle aspiration in a bottle) .

Anyway I realised that this blog has been significantly image deficient so I thought I would borrow a few images to add some more unique content.

Cervinia sounded like an awesome high rolling winter wonderland with great snow, comfy accommodation, nice food and runs up to 22km long to get your legs warmed up. The location on the Swiss Border meant that My Beyonce and Caria-Canaria skied into Switzerland from Italy one day (as you do) which sounded awesome although the 3-4 k's of t-bars coming back didn't sound so much fun (for those not in the know extended periods on t-bars and pommels=pain). Check the pics to get an idea of how epic this place looks.

Looks like awesome snow to me


Top of the world - a long way from Sydney


Caria-Canaria Living large

Anyway for other Ski oriented ramblings check my Snow Biz post from last year full of pirates, terrorists and super good Perisher.

Surfing is Good

The surf is absolutely cracking today in Sydney. I surfed a little known secret spot called Maroubra with a frothing pack of other dudes. I got a couple of fun ones and also got severely drilled duckdiving by a number of friendly bone rattling 4 foot peaks of doom. I love surfing in Autumn and winter when the winds switch after being onshore for days, and just like flicking a switch pretty much the whole east coast of Australia from the Victorian boarder to the Sunshine coast is pumping. There is something beautiful about the cool water, the smell of salt, the crisp mornings and the thrill of clean thumping waves that makes me feel alive at a cellular level. Well time for breakfast, my beyonce is back from a high rolling ski trip to Europe paid for extremely generously by her bestie Caria-Canaria.

Eat now, then more waves, then DJ Markie later for some Brazilian infused D & B warmth.

Good times.

Logistics Reality Checkpoint

I have this album on heavy rotation at the moment. I recently discovered Logistics by subscribing to Hospital records excellent podcast produced by Hospitals boss Tony Colman (aka London Elektricity who is also wicked producer and funny d'n b geezer). Anyway I decided to lash out and by this album on Beatport and it is fricken wicked. It features some nice big slabs of warm bass and wicked tight drum pattern production. To me the album is all killer with very little filler.

If you like well produced beats check logistics myspace in the link above or subscribe to hospitals podcast as it's generally more hit than miss and Tony digs shapeshifter which means he's OK in my books ;)

Salmonella Bud Dogs

My Mates The Sniffer Dogs supported Salmonella Dub last night at the Metro. It was a wicked Gig and and it was very cool to see the dogs playing a big venue. The dogs killed it and had the crowd moving and hopefully introduced some more people to their comedy/dub/reggae/riddim bizness. Bud Spells also supported and I liked some of their tunes although a couple of numbers veered towards being a dub steppy paranoid racket which is cool I guess (if you're into that kind of thing). They did rinse out a drum and bass number which I loved.

Salmonella Dub played a pretty laid back set that verged on kind of ambient dub. I didn't realise but Tiki Taane left the group a year ago which changed the dynamic in a live environment. They had a dude playing a sampler who I heard later was Paddy Free who is one half of electronic kiwi producers pitch black . It sounds like he has influenced Salmonella Dubs sound as it has taken an ambient, repetitive almost trance like quality. I really liked the visuals these guys had during the show as it highlighted some of the finer points of New Zealands amazing landscape and nature. At one point I wondered if the visuals had been commissioned by Tourism NZ.

Anyway all in all it was a good gig with more than one mad kiwi dub fan moving to the beat...

Click ads grow trees with Ecocho

Some smart people I work with have just launched a search engine called Ecocho which is basically an "eco" search engine. How it works is that for every 1000 searches on Yahoo (via Ecocho) and every 2000 searches on Google (again via Ecocho) up to 2 trees will be planted via a carbon offsetting partner. A few people at TechCrunch have been bagging it out but from what I've seen all offsetting/tree planting is audited by KPMG so the process is legit. In a nut shell if you search via ecocho you get the same results as Google & Yahoo but you can be confident that you are contributing to carbon offsetting which is admittedly not as good as carbon reduction but its a step in the right direction. Anyway check it out its as valid a place to search as any of the other engines.

Later

Blogger gimcrackery

Yes if you are reading this occasionally you may notice that my post about Portugal disappeared. I am having problems with Blogger and It looks like (semi skilled) hacks I made to the code of a surfing mag photo gallery farked the pagination of everything else. I guess I just gave some splogs free content. Anyway back to my hangover and tinkering. Will. Post. Soon.

The Four Hour work week

I have just started reading Timothy Ferris's book the 4 Hour work week and It is fricken amazing. The guy basically has a Spartans dedication to de-cluttering his life and tweaking and modifying all his life admin so that he spends a tiny amount of quality time on his work/business projects whilst yielding the maximum results. I am only part of the way through the book but I am already a rabid proponent of his school of thought. His blog is awesome as well with tips on everything from auto responders, streamlining his breakfast processes to optimising his workout and diet to deliver the highest possible yields. I'm probably in the first flushes of a man crush, but I think Tim is a definite thought leader in terms of lifestyle optimisation and anyone who advocates chasing down life experiences that make you feel alive on a molecular level throughout life as opposed to waiting for retirement is freaking awesome in my books. I will keep you posted on all gains made to my lifestyle by following Tim's tips - Who knows I may outsource the gathering and construction of content of this blog to a verbose, surfing mad, virtual assistant who appreciates a nice bass line and drum pattern ;)

This post has been partially created by DJ Patife whose myspace page I have been checking out listening to which has some very nice smooth Brazilian beats.

Well I'm going for swim. Check ya later.

Faster than the speed of rumours

This post finds moi merrily typing from the comfort of my own couch sans wires on my lappie due to some amateur tech network jiggery pokery yesterday. As previously mentioned me and my beyonce had broadband connected to our unit so we now have super fast web access. I decided to further enhance the experience by adding a wireless router for a bit of mini wireless LAN action - (oh listen to the wannabe tech geek pepper his sentences with network jargon that he barely grasps.)

It was a challenging process complete with frustration (swearing), intermittent connections and
fairly poor networking on my behalf. Finally after an hour and a half I got the thing to work and have been savouring wireless internet faster than the speed of rumours.

Well this post is going nowhere fast I shall retreat to other sites to calm my short attention span and desire for new content

.

The dreaded weed

One of my (work)mates Ski-mon (mentioned here) is embarking on a journey to try and quit smoking ciggies. He has tried all manner of techniques ranging from shock therapy through to Tantric crosswords and is now trying some kind of super high tech pharmaceutical concoction that cures you of smoking but turns you into a werewolf (or something like that).

Anyway Ski-mon is documenting his pursuit to give up the dreaded weed on his champix blog so I thought I would throw a link his way.

I personally* hate cigarettes and wish they had never invented as they are the equivalent of a handbrake to your health and finances. Having said that I used to smoke and can appreciate how hard it is to give up.

I hope Ski-mon is successful and I also hope the pills don't make him start listening to my chemical romance and painting his finger nails black.

*Additional Massive hypocritical factoid: I have been known to very occasionally puff on a cigarette after an ale or ten and then excoriate myself with self loathing the next day.

8 things to do when you’re not surfing or blogging

Its been a while between posts due to a variety of factors including laziness, no net access at home, technology influenced ADHD and general life admin. What have I been doing? Well here is a random semi-concise list of diversionary activities that have kept me away from creating content that ranks for obscure terms:

1. Submitting this blog to RSS directories (don't ask why as I'll bore you with semi geek SEO techno jiggery pokery speak)
2. Reading: I just devoured "The Reluctant Fundamentalist" by Moshin Hamid . I really liked it as it painted a salient picture of how a pro western (thinking) Muslim could become disenfranchised with the state of the west and the U.S. after their "war on terror" post 9/11.
3. Listening to a heap of drum n bass music via myspace and podcasts my favourites are the Hospital records podcast, and the myspace pages for Makoto, The Brookes Brothers, and Logistics
4. Reading way too many surf mags I think I'm a closet masochist as this is like spiritual salt and lime for the wounds. For what it's worth I rate Stab as it generally makes me piss myself laughing a higher percentage of the time than other mags.
   
5. Dreaming of the Mentawais and other spots around the world (France, EnZed, Tamarama,) that all probably have exceptional surf as I type.
   
6. Organising broadband for home - as I just think this internet thing might take off and I'm sick of trying to suck ocean sized pieces of data through my straw size unwired connection.
   
7. Working heaps and generally enjoying it ;) as it helps pay the mortgage and keeps me off of the streets and is a perfect diversion from self absorbed whinging about the fact that the surf in Australia has been non-stop for the past three months.
   
8. Eating well, I went (read got taken to dinner) to Poshbergs with my Beyonce by a very good friend of ours Caria-Canaria and her new man. It was easily the best meal I have had in a long time. If you live in Sydney and feel like throwing a ridiculous large amount of coin down on dinner I recommend it, and the waygu tastes like a steaky choir of angels singing a hym to lazy happy cattle in your mouth. Very good indeed.

Anyway Laters peepz and RSS sniffing botz...

P.S. You like satire and aren't too heavily Christian fundamentalist then check out This (nice retort to the intelligent design quackery being pushed worldwide)

The Sniffer Dogs

As previously noted in my post about The Sniffer Dogs, they are one of the best dub reggae bands you have (probably) never heard of who create some wicked dub/reggae/ska tunes. Anyway they're playing in Sydney on Saturday night to launch their new CD . If you are an actual human reader (as opposed to a search engine robot sniffing my RSS feed) and you are located anywhere near Sydney and like music and beer I would recommend getting along to check them out. If you want to have a little listen to what they sound like just check the dogs myspace. I particularly dig the tune "Singing on the dance floor" - there is something about a melodica played into a delay that feels like an updated homage to studio one and trojan records. Well its late(ish) and I'm going to chillax with a glass of red whilst grazing the interesting content desert that Australian terrestrial television has become - hello repeats world, thank you writers strike.

Stolen (syndicated) surfing pics

I love the photos in this gallery from Bill Morris of Tama as its virtually my newish local and when its on like that it is so much fun. I also figured it was time to grab some content from Surfing mag as I have used a bit of content from Surfer lately. Fingers crossed it won't be too long until I'm out in the water enjoying similar conditions.

Occy is a legend

Occy is a true icon of surfing and this video provides a little snapshot of what's made him great (I love the jellyfish soundbite). Apologies for the loud surfermag ads but I guess someone has to pay for the content ;)

Five Inspirational People

Sometimes I meet people or read about people who I either find straight out inspirational or who make me realise that for how ever much I sometimes stick my head up my arse and carp on with self indulgent whining that I generally have it pretty easy. This post is about those people who are out there laughing at and smashing huge challenges and generally not letting any bad vibes bring them down while making egocentric whiny fools like me look pretty average.

So this here is a list of people that I find inspirational (beware a feel good wander away from self centred righteousness follows):

• Dr Phil Chang: My highly skilled, good natured, generous caring ENT surgeon. This guys a legend; When he's not fixing run of the mill stuff like surfers ear, ruptured ear drums and dodgy schnoz's you'll find him giving kids a life with hearing and generally making peoples lives better. Dr Chang gave my (soon to be niece) a cochlear implant when she was a tiny underweight baby and so now gets to enjoy sound. You can find him here.

• Ryley Batt: I read about this guy today, Born with no legs and four fingers (thereabouts) he refused to get into a wheel chair (because it was for disabled people) until it came to sport (his preferred mode of transportation before that was a skate board). He now plays wheel chair rugby (aka murder ball) and from what I read coldy destroys what ever challenges he meets at (probably) full pace. Kid should be bringing wake up calls to whiny teenagers across Australia to make the aware of how easy they have it.
  

• Mick Fanning: wildly talented surfer, cooly kid, white lightening etc. I rate him because he came back from the heaviest injury and simply, refused, to quit. And so he hit rehab and training like a man possessed and in late 2007 he became the world champ. The other thing I like is he seems like a down to earth guy with a no bullshit attitude which is refreshing in the era of mega hyped , affluent, pampered and pandered to surf stars. I can't wait for him to start slaying in 2008.

• Jamie Booth: (Disclosure this kid will be my niece when I get married next year - but she is still fricken amazing). Born a massively premature twin, her brother died but she survived, deaf from birth because of the drugs needed to sustain her tiny fragile life and with cerebal palsy the odds were stacked against Jamie. The kids now six and a half, in a wheel chair talking and getting. on. with. it. Yes things are tough for her but she doesn't care, and don't for one minute think she's not smart, oh no the latest 9 bladed gilette razor appears to have an edge like a railway line compared to her brain. She literally radiates good vibes and I know she won't be limited by other peoples expectations of what she can do.

• Dr Dave Jenkins: Did the opposite of of most peoples mantras in modern life and left. the. money. He abandoned his well paid job in medicine in Singapore to help the people of the Mentawaii's after not being able to process the juxtaposition of wealthy, healthy westerners frolicking in the ocean whilst 200 metres away people were getting felled at disproportionate rates by malaria, dysentery, malnutrition and all manner of things that shouldn't exist in this age of 24/7 internet interconnectivity and washing machines with LCD screens and GPS triangulation to determine where your missing sock is. So a few years later and they have smashed a lot of the malaria in those steamy islands off of north Sumatra and are moving on to other ways to help out. Most people when they were quaffing their nasi goreng and bintangs on the charter boat after getting ridiculously shacked at HT's would have felt bad for a moment for the skinny sick people on land, maybe they would have passed over a grubby fistful of rupiah for a carving or left some board shorts with the locals. Most people certainly wouldn't have left high paying jobs and security to start a grass roots charity for the betterment of people they didn't know.

Well this shapeshifter album has almost finished, I shall retreat to the couch to ponder further people who fire the inspirational synapses in my brain. Remember kids if life is good if you want it to be - not that I always remember that ;)........

Coffee, Toast and Sunday morning page title hacks

So I have just spent a good 25 minutes of searching, reading and code cutting and pasting to change the way page titles are thrown in blogger. For the average person page titles are the words at the top of the browser which they occaisonally glance at, for the vaguely SEO centric geek like moi they are like cat nip to search engine spiders signalling the basic semantic value of my inanities. So I'll be now able to lure search engine spiders with a better whiff of words about sheep , some drum and bass sycophantic fan boy action and my ramblings about my never ending salt water addiction.

Anyway I should probably throw the person who created this piece of XML/ HTML wizardry so if you blog and need to Change the way Blogger presents page titles click the link cut and paste to your hearts content.

Super fun hurty hurt show game time

Now this is what I call a Gameshow, I think the future of TV programming is Japanese...

Just one sniffle in the viral chain

Although I would classify myself as a New Zealander linving in Australia I love Australia day and everything that it stands for (lazyness, alcohol poisoning, comedowns and random scars after the big day out and carcinogenic berbecued meat). So in the true spirit of Australia day I give you Sam Kekovich a noble man doing his bit to make sure that we eat our full of barbecued plump tasty adolescent sheep on Australia day......



(This video is a shining example of proper viral biznezz....)

Fifteen questions for 2008

1. Am I the most erratic blogger on the net?
2. Can I grow an ear drum tougher than Margaret Thatchers Tits and subsequently make my valiant return to surfing in 2008?
3. Was the Christmas ham glazed with Rohypnol and the seafood entrees basted with valium or do I suffer from undiagnosed spontaneous festive season narcolepsy?
4. Is there some irony in watching extreme sports on cable TV whilst doing the polar opposite as a couch based life form that struggles at the physical exertion of reaching for the remote?
5. Does fuel TV make anyone who surfs, skates, snow boards, wake boards etc look like monosyllabic, single digit IQ, carbon copies of an archetype of radness and dudedom?
6. Was I an alcoholic or was that just the festive season?
7. How many good swells did I miss in 2007?
8. Am I suffering from undiagnosed PMT (Pre Marital Tension)?
9. Is Rolling Drum & Bass perhaps the finest music in the world for a workout?
10. If I refuse to rock skinny leg acid wash jeans and baggy slogan t-shirts (ala mid 80's wear) does that mean I am now consigned to the fashion cul-de-sac of middle age apparel (not that I am middle aged) where cool comes from an air conditioner and not my wardrobe?
11. Is it me or does a lot of electro music plainly suck?
12. In true contrarian spirit is it me or are LCD sound system fabulous saviours of modern music?
13. Are the eastern suburbs of sydney the new capital of militant body fascism? And am I happily buying into this obsession?
14. Is snowboarding not one of the funnest most worthwhile past times to pursue behind surfing and recreational drinking?
15. Do a lot of us truly fear success?