Radio Silence

Long time no type. I have been preoccupied with other biz over the last little while mainly two weeks in Indonesia on a boat surfing awesome waves and then a few weeks recovering from my post travelling stress disorder*. Holidays are awesome and coming home is awesome but getting back into the frantic frazzled 180bpm city vibe sucks the big one, Especially after chillaxing for 12 days on a boat in the tropics.

Anyway this post is not the full wannabe indo pirates tale more an effort to get back online and into the habit of downloading the words and ideaz in my brain. In other news it appears that this blog has been indexed by the big benevolent G (Google) which means I may be getting traffic from very confused visitors who were looking for hot sheep action but instead got my abstract barely literate ramblings.

Laters

*Post Travelling Stress Disorder is a term I coined (maybe plagiarised) that describes the feeling of getting home and seeing things with a fresh set of eyes. It also explains the malaise and questioning that takes place after a good trip like "why do I have to work every day?", "Where is Kasta my lovely indonesian chef?" and "How do you people put up with surfing such shitty waves?"

Oceanic Addictions

As I have previously mentioned one of the reasons for starting this blog was to channel some of my creativity and energy that would have normally been eaten up by surfing as mentioned in this post. Anyway my ear is about 90% good and my ENT has allowed me to get back in the beautiful brine at the bottom of my street. I have only caught a few waves in the past few weeks but the joy has been overwhelming. Fuck even just paddling lights up my soul and floods my lobes with serotonin. Today due to a lack of swell me, Alpha, The Cougar and my bro went on a paddling mission around the headland from one metro beach to another. The reason for our faux watermanly efforts is that me Alpha and the Cougar are heading to the Mentawaii islands in two weeks on a surf charter to reacquaint ourselves with the barrel and try to avoid losing too much skin to the reef. Paddling fitness will be a prerequisite for a good time so we figured a few hours at sea would be a good down payment on (hopefully) some filthy steaming indo pits.

I sit here typing while sucking back on a crisp ale relishing the specific slight ache in my shoulders that only time on a surfboard can deliver, while secretly hoping that my ears can cope with the heavy smashings they are going to endure in two weeks. I cannot wait for the near future where both ears are fixed and strong and I can get back into my daily fix of saltwater therapy - oh the joy I will feel.

Oxygen thief with a handy cam

Sometimes I worry for the future of the planet - especially when there are morons with access to technology like this dude. Crying over the plight of Britney Spears is like claiming that Kate Moss was sniffing vitamins and was set up, or that Mel Gibson has never emptied a liquor cabinet and treated our Semite brothers with disrespect............

Rolling in the RS4

Sometimes this blog feels like a small child that has been left in the basement to play with fireworks, explosives, power tools and firearms - so much potential but oh so neglected.

I had the absolute sheer joy of piloting a fuck off bad boy vehicle at the weekend. Due to a trusting and benevolent employer who is having a few license issues I was allowed to swipe his black brand spanking new bad boy Audi RS4 convertible to head up the hunter valley for the weekend with my significant other.

For those not in the know this car is the thinking mans muscle car. Where your average bogan gets wet for a shitty commodore with a V8 or a boring vintage Mustang your modern existential contrarian gets a jolt of visceral joy from the RS4. Driving this biatch with the top down, fat bass heavy tunes blaring on a Saturday arvo in the sunshine was pure egomaniacal rev head joy. This car eats up the road like Roseanne Barr with the munchies and sticks to the tarmac like its on rails. The best part of the whole deal is the roar the finely tuned v8 makes when you (carefully) floor it in sports mode out of the lights or onto the motorway. The sound of those 8 cylinders purring makes you feel like Audi have captured and shackled eight of those dragons from lord of the rings and stuffed them under the hood and they are not happy about it. Driving this car has ruined me for life as its unlikely I can get one any time soon being that its worth about a third of the price of my house.

One of my favourite places in the World

The font of tech genius that is the big G (aka Google) have recently upgraded Google maps to allow embeddable content (similar to You tube). This piece of tech means that I can now break all rules of surfing conduct around identifying surf spots and throw in a map of one of my favourite surf spots in the world. Now before the hardcore watermen form a stoic and super gnarly posse to chase me out of the castle like an angry mob in frankenstein with deep tans, wearing volcom and brandishing sharp pointy Merrick's, dhd's and firewire boards , I should point out this is a "known" spot that is named in surf media in NZ. Anyway I love this beach, I did a lot of learning there and I have had some really fun waves there. Although not epic or even super consistent this beach holds a special place in my heart, because of the serenity, beauty and total New Zealandness (not a word I know) of the place.



View Larger Map

I'm probably going to regret this but anyway its a display of how easy this technology is getting to use if a monkey like me can throw in a map with so much ease - bring on the not quite geek revolution where people with minimal digital skillz flood the web with an avalanche of average noize......

Wave of bloggeration

The full fury of the blog is being unleashed like Jackie Chan on ice in a kings cross strip club. Ladies and Gentleman I have helped enable one of the poet laureates of our generation get on this digital tip..............I give you pure genius. Watch and learn as this wave of bloggeration captures at least 15 seconds of your time in our attention based economy. This is the way forward as you give some 23 year old kid your content to monetise for billions (yes facebook). The true way forward is to unleash and monetise your own content (eventually)

Snow Windmillz

Its been a while between posts due to the usual random static that sucks up time and energy like work, life, life admin, no internet access at home yadda yadda yadda ad nauseum, ad infinitum. Anyway I thought with this post I would go completely web 2.0 and include some video of a friend who is a fully sick breaker busting some moves in a rural NSW pub. Anyway check these mad skillz and don't slip a disc trying to emulate this hardcore b-boy....

The best dub reggae band you have never heard of

If you live in Sydney and have done the city to surf in the past couple of years you may have encountered an unruly posse of people listening to some fresh sounding dub/reggae/ska goodness near the golf course at north bondi. The band are called the Sniffer dogs and in my humble opinion are a fricken awesome live group. They punch out tunes that are kind of like a barbecue at Bob Marleys place with a bunch of Irish, English and Aussie mates who all happen to have weapons grade dub reggae skillz - very sweet indeed. Along with this musical prowess they also have wits sharper than one of those new nine blade razors. Anyway if you like live music with a bit of bass you should check these guys out before they get really famous..........

Random Saturday arvo link love

Two posts in one day - crikey this blog bug is biting hard. The concept of this post is to give some sites & people I dig some random link love. Whats link love? Well for those non search savvy readers of this blog (not that there are any readers yet) links are one of the main things the overlords of all modern information retrieval (aka search engines - specifically the big G) love. They use links to figure out whats good relevant content (the wheat) and whats not (the chaff) and by linking to stuff you like your little link may help a site rank better and get more traffic. Now at no point am I intending for this ongoing exercise in keyboard based verbosity to become yet another internet marketing blog. Its more that I figured I should explain what my in jokes to myself are about. So heres a list of people that deserve some link love:

• Happiness reflexology - I had some reflexology from my friend Lou who runs this business a few weeks ago. I had never had reflexology before and afterwards I was the most relaxed I had been in weeks. Which is saying something, as sometimes I can be a little mAnIc. So if you want a good reflexology sydney clinic check the site and pick up the phone. (yes I know the last sentence does not read perfectly but with the big G its all about the anchor text (the words in the link) .

• Six ounce surfboards. Ben at 6oz is my fibreglass dealer. He is the purveyor of dreams to a number of us surf crazed fiends in the eastern suburbs. And don't let the retro, yellow tint chunky, quad finned DVS board thing fool 'ya. Ben has access to some very very high performance Australian shapers. So if you live in Sydney; hell even Australia; and want to access some sweet new surfboards then talk to the dealer man.

• Violent Acres - this is perhaps the most piss funny blog I have ever read by an anonymous women (?) in the US of A. Confronting , angry and hilarious this is everything the internet was meant to be. She has a tonne of links so maybe I'll thow her some generic anchor text like piss funny blog.

• Dave Naylor - an English search engine optimisation (SEO) sith Jedi (who I stole this whole idea off). His blog's probably too niche if you're not into online marketing but I can't "repurpose" his idea without throwing a link his way. So if you want to read a kick arse seo blog then click the little link.

Well that completes my random link-a-thon - and an important note none of these links are paid for (I'm talking to you Google). And so ends another journey off the on ramp of my brain. Stay tuned for further words and bizness.

Snow Biz

I have had an ongoing task on my mental to do list that I haven't attended to in the past few weeks due to slackness having non digital fun. That task was to sit down and create some more content for this mental download.



So whats been going on? I hear none of you ask as I have barely let anyone know that this blog exists. I went south last weekend with an mixed posse of geezers, dudes & snow terrorists to throw down some 320 stevie wonders to fakie Stephen Hawkins on the slopes. As the old song goes "there's no biznezz like snow bizzness" especially when the snows this good. An awesome time was had by all although there were a few casualties throughout the weekend:

• Crazy Ayyyyyyman the Egyptian sim card dealer had to get a lift off the mountain by the ski patrol after unsuccessfully trying to destroy his knee with some kind of rag doll falling manoeuvre
  
  
• Van Homo the grand wizard of below the line DM campaigns and pervy books had his snowboard successfully destroyed by a careless monkey operating a base grinding machine at Perisher.
  
  
• Alpha the man child entrepreneur air specialist busted an "angry bouncer" air - named because when he tried to jump it looked like an angry bouncer threw him off the jump and onto his side.
  
  
  
• The Chomp (aka me) I managed to land a number of air 0' window winderz to face - named because the board doesn't spin but my arms do as I try and wind up the windows in the air before gently rotating forward to land on my face. (they are all the rage with the creaky jointed middle aged drum n bass posse's)

• Ski-mon my work associate SEM/SEO/SMO/SMP geezer who ski's like a bad guy in a James Bond film -all style and fluid control. Due to having mad skillz on two skis he didn't fall all weekend which marked him as the black sheep of our avalanche of average slope style. Although he did manage to hurt his cerebellum with an evil concoction on the friday night

We all managed to turn a positive into a negative when we transformed our early arrival in Jindabyne on the Friday night into an opportunity to have too many beers. This then degenerated into Jiu-Jitsu as Alpha demonstrated a range of chokes on my inert form to the rest of the posse. Good times indeed. This smart move meant that we all had a horrible taste in our mouth for a solid chunk of our alpine activities on Saturday.

We had much fun and even got fresh snow and blue skies at Perisher on the sunday which is generally unheard of on our snow trips - normally its gale force winds, sleet and ice/slush with patches of grass. Other highlights included checking all of the fresh styles on the hills. Massive style points must go out to:

• The asian dudes rocking the matching jacket pants combo who were projecting a kind of P Diddy in aspen, wearing burberry ghetto chic vibe. Oh so hip hop but also a little contrived.

• The tall older caucasian gent who was unafraid to wear stretchy tight pants. This meant that on first inspection it appeared to be a very very ugly six foot four lady russian pole vaulter from behind. Never a good look.
  

Anyway was fun -I must go and pursue a life away from this keyboard.